The Ballad of Nevada Tan
December 11th 2006 18:56
I love Japan, the country famous for its sushi, robots, flying cars (well, they're almost there), hentai, sumo wrestling, harakiri, and suicide pilots. It's also where Nevada Tan hails from. The phenomenon that is Nevada Tan has been around the intarnets for years now but I'm sure a lot of you aren't familiar with her. That's why I am here, I would like all of you to get to know this interesting pre-teen.
Nevada Tan used to be a regular school kid. She loves the computer and the internet, she likes watching movies and tv, she's into sports, she has insecurities like any 11-year old girl. Let's forget that sentence. She's not like a regular school kid. She does like the internet and movies. She has a webpage dedicated to horror and violent movies like Battle Royale. Nevada is in the school basketball team but got kicked out of it. She has insecurities which caused her to commit a crime. See, Nevada Tan is extraordinary. When her classmate Satomi Hitarai blogged that Nevada sucks and even called her overweight, she didn't take it lightly. She demanded an apology but instead of getting one, Satomi called her pretentious. Taking life lessons from her favorite tv show Monday Mystery Theater, a horror show where victims are easily killed with the use of box cutters, Nevada looked for her own box cutter and took it to school. She took Satomi to an empty room where she covered the girl's eyes and proceeded to slit her throat. Then she went back to her classroom to attend her lessons even if she was still covered with blood. A teacher noticed her rather unusual appearance and investigated what took place. Of course, when she discovered Satomi's lifeless corpse, she called the police who took an apologetic Nevada into custody.
Nevada Tan isn't the girl's real name. Her gristly crime attracted the interest of Japanese deviants who gave her the nickname since the girl was wearing a blue sweatshirt with the word Nevada printed on it when she committed the murder. Nevada Tan became a meme and, as the way meme goes, the whole world started getting into it. Fan fictions, fan art, morbid jokes, and even fan songs were created in honor of her. And as all meme goes, it became old news after awhile and went the way Satomi did, dead.
I'm still fascinated with Nevada Tan, hence this post. Nevada, I wonder how you are now? Are you plotting your revenge? Let me just sing to you as you plot your hundred and one ways to disembowel the public.
Nevada Tan
Class Photo. Satomi is in baby blue
I'm still fascinated with Nevada Tan, hence this post. Nevada, I wonder how you are now? Are you plotting your revenge? Let me just sing to you as you plot your hundred and one ways to disembowel the public.
"Cutie NEVADA"
song and lyrics by unknown
kono goro hayari no onna no ko
gakushuu room no onna no ko
kocchi wo muite yo, Neva
Datte nandaka, datte cutter nan da mon
The girl who's all the rage...
The girl from that study room...
Look over here, Neva
There's something about that boxcutter of yours.
onegai onegai kizutsukenaide
watashi no kubi ga busu-busu shichau no
iya yo iya yo iya yo koroshicha iyaa
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
Please, please, don't hurt me
You're going to stab me in the neck
No, no, no! Don't kill me!
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
imadoki ninki no onna no ko
oyahou beam no onna no ko
kocchi wo muite yo, Neva
datte nandaka, datte cutter nan da mon
That girl's so popular all of a sudden
That girl with her special 'wake-up' beam
Look over here, Neva
There's something about that boxcutter of yours.
onegai onegai kiritsukenaide
watashi no akai chi ga byuu-byuu shichau no
iya yo iya yo iya yo koroshicha iyaa
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
Please, please, don't cut me up!
My red blood will spill all over the place
No, no, no! Don't kill me!
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
song and lyrics by unknown
kono goro hayari no onna no ko
gakushuu room no onna no ko
kocchi wo muite yo, Neva
Datte nandaka, datte cutter nan da mon
The girl who's all the rage...
The girl from that study room...
Look over here, Neva
There's something about that boxcutter of yours.
onegai onegai kizutsukenaide
watashi no kubi ga busu-busu shichau no
iya yo iya yo iya yo koroshicha iyaa
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
Please, please, don't hurt me
You're going to stab me in the neck
No, no, no! Don't kill me!
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
imadoki ninki no onna no ko
oyahou beam no onna no ko
kocchi wo muite yo, Neva
datte nandaka, datte cutter nan da mon
That girl's so popular all of a sudden
That girl with her special 'wake-up' beam
Look over here, Neva
There's something about that boxcutter of yours.
onegai onegai kiritsukenaide
watashi no akai chi ga byuu-byuu shichau no
iya yo iya yo iya yo koroshicha iyaa
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
Please, please, don't cut me up!
My red blood will spill all over the place
No, no, no! Don't kill me!
NE VA DAaaaSH!!
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Noobhackx
I LOVE YOU NEVADA-TAN