Coffin Conversations - by dementia

In May, the inept Christopher Emmorey, 23, was sentenced to two years in prison for robbing a Peterborough, Ontario, bank, from which he had intended to take $2,000. However, the teller said she could only give him $200 and also must take out a $5 fee because Emmorey is not a regular customer. Emmorey stood stoically while she did the paperwork and then handed him $195, which he took and walked away (only to be arrested a short time later).

Manchester police said they arrested 49 year old James Coldwell just before midnight on Saturday.

Investigators said surveillance images showed Coldwell tried to disguise himself as a tree during a robbery attempt. Police said Coldwell used tape to put branches on his body in an effort to hide his identity.


The robbery happened at a Citizens Bank on Elm Street around 9 a.m., when the bank first opened. The suspect demanded cash from a teller and walked out. Witnesses said it happened very fast.

No one was hurt in the incident and no weapon was shown.

A police K-9 unit was brought in to search the area, but the suspect was not located until around 11:30 Saturday night at his home on Lowell Street in Manchester.

Officials said an anonymous tip from a Newsnine viewer who saw the surveillance photos on television helped lead them to Coldwell.

A German motorist surprised by euro notes swirling in the air around her car hit the brakes and collected a "substantial amount of money" before turning it over to police, authorities in Worms said on Thursday.

A police spokesman in the small western town said the 24-year-old woman saw the money flying through the air in her rear view mirror late on Wednesday. She pulled over and tried to collect all the notes, unsuccessfully.

When police went with her to the scene they could not find any more cash.

A spokesman at Worms city hall said police were withholding details on the exact sum and location of the find in the hope of learning more about the money's origin.

Philippine police chased down an unfit thief on Tuesday after he ran out of breath and asked his pursuers for a "time out."

"He was panting and gasping for air when we caught up with him after a 500 meter sprint," Erwin Buenceso, one of the arresting officers, told local radio station dzBB.

Buenceso said the man and an accomplice broke into a house in the Philippine capital and stole two expensive mobile phones. Screams from the residence alerted a local police patrol, which gave chase.

The robber asked for a "time out" using hand signals.

After he regained his composure, police seized the two stolen phones and brought him to a station for questioning

A Japanese man who set a world record by wolfing down dozens
of hot dogs within minutes has suffered a severe jaw injury due to his
rigorous training, making his next title uncertain.

Four Asians who murdered another Asian and then ate his body were caught when one of their victim's finger was found in the stomach of one during treatment for acute food poisoning, the daily Al-Sharq newspaper said today.

The Qatari newspaper said the four men had to seek emergency hospital treatment after eating part of the corpse, various bits of which, including a finger, showed up on hospital X-rays. The paper did not give the men's nationalities.

A Montana judge quoted 42 Beatles songs in sentencing a beer thief.

Andrew McCormack, 20, had said, "Like the Beatles say, 'Let it Be,' " when Judge Gregory Todd asked him what his sentence should be.

Firefighters in a Cleveland suburb have been ordered to cut grass and trim shrubs when they're not busy battling blazes.

"We have 54 firefighters, and they have a lot of downtime," said East Cleveland, Ohio, Mayor Eric Brewer. "Instead of sitting around the station, they'll be assisting us as we beautify the city."

(Amsterdam, The Netherlands) Four men are accused of drugging, raping and then injecting their male victims with their own HIV-infected blood Dutch police have announced.

Police said that two of the men have confessed.

A Social Insurance Agency official who had been arrested for stealing a purse from a locker at the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, stole a total of 1.6 million yen in 28 instances of theft in the ministry and the Environment Ministry, as he needed money for hair growth treatment, police said Wednesday.

Keiichi Ogawa, an accounting section official, stole the money from January through March from lockers at the government building that houses the SIA and the health and environment ministries, they said.

A man has been jailed after robbing a bank to pay for a breast operation for his transvestite lover.

A British man who went on a wild spending spree after doctors said he only had a short time to live wants compensation because the diagnosis was wrong and he is now healthy -- but broke.

An adventurous tabby took an unexpected trip this week, after slyly crawling into her keeper's luggage and clearing lax Canadian airport security, local media said Wednesday.
Mary Martell unwittingly traveled 1,400 kilometers (870 miles) from Saint John Airport on Canada's Atlantic coast all the way to Toronto, then to Niagara-on-the-Lake by car with the live cat in her suitcase.
She told public broadcaster CBC the bag was scanned at the airport, but she was not stopped and it was eventually loaded into the airplane's cargo bay.