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Coffin Conversations - by dementia

 
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Are You An Aspiring Hearse Driver

December 12th 2006 13:11
...or just curious about driving for the dead? This post is for you because you will end up riding one someday. Hopefully not soon.

horse-drawn
Hearse driving has been with us for ages. Transporting the dead used to involve horses and carts but through industrialization, motorized hearses came about. Popular makers of modern hearses are Ford, Cadillac, Lincoln, Mercedes Benz, Volvo, Jaguar, and Opel. Maybe in Japan, they have souped up hearses. Or flying ones. In Venice, the hearses are special since our regular hearses would sink in their canals. Venicians use a modified boat which sort of resembles a hearse.


copyright by Philip Greenspun (http://philip.greenspun.com/)


Cool, ain't it? Motorcyle hearses are becoming popular now even though they were invented during the early 1900's. IMHO, they're butt ugly. I wouldn't be caught dead inside one of those. Har har. Seriously, I don't know why it's becoming popular. It's so...confining.




Choosing this as a profession is not too easy. First of all, you have to have a strong stomach. This job entails retrieval of the newly dead, some of them very bloody and gory. Second, you should never forget to secure the coffin. NEVER. I'm telling you, you wouldn't want them rolling around. Third, you need to be patient. Funeral marches are excruciatingly slow while body retrievals should be done swiftly. Remember that episode in Six Feet Under when Nate left a body in the sun for too long and it started to bloat and smell?

Hearse driving isn't just for the dead serious. There are a number of hearse enthusiasts all over the world and they use it as their normal mode of transport. For me, it's a status symbol for goths and so i want one. Parking would be a killer though.

If you want to know more about hearses and driving them, I suggest you visit these sites:
Grim Rides
Hearse Driver
Phantom Coaches
Tombstone Hearse
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