Coffin Conversations - by dementia

Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.


Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.

The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

"Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.


The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.

A 24-year-old New York City man remains jailed after he was found allegedly having sex with a 92-year-old woman's corpse inside the morgue of the hospital where he worked.

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.

"This is a first," Lt. Dean Kazinci, spokesman for the Teaneck, N.J., police, told ABC News. "When you think you've heard and seen it all, something like this happens."

Kazinci said the security guards at the hospital told police that they caught Merino in the act of necrophilia. They transported Merino to the police station, he said, and charged him after conducting a police interview.

A spokesman for Holy Name Hospital released a statement to ABC News calling the allegations a "heinous crime."

"We are horrified and saddened for the family of the patient and are completely empathic and sympathetic to them," the statement reads.

Merino had only been working at the hospital for 14 days, according to the statement, and had passed a criminal background check before he was offered the job. The hospital also notified the dead woman's next of kin after contacting authorities.

Merino was arraigned Monday on a charge of desecrating human remains, a second degree crime in New Jersey. A judge set bail at $400,000 with conditions that included Merino surrendering his passport and submitting to a psychological evaluation. He faces a maximum of 10 years in prison, if convicted.

In addition to working part time at Holy Name Hospital, Merino also had a part-time job as a histology technician at Overlook Hospital in Summit, N.J.

Too damn long article. Just read it here if you want.

Barton, 22, is "Mr. March" in the 2008 Men of Mortuaries calendar. The calendar's catch phrase: "These are just a few of the things that we do with our suits off."

"I'm kind of shy about it," said Barton, who is pictured in cowboy hat and jeans, but no shirt, standing next to a horse. "But my family all think it's great."

Friends and family have all got a good laugh out of his selection for the calendar, Barton said. His grandmother, with whom he's living while he takes a year off from school, keeps the calendar in a prominent location in the hallway, always turned to his picture. He has to pass it every morning.

Barton, a Lexington native, was one of 14 men selected for the 2008 Men of Mortuaries calendar. A spin-off of the traditional "hunks" calendars, it features funeral directors and morticians from across the country.

A student at the Dallas Institute of Funeral Service, Barton was at school one day when a secretary got a brochure seeking applicants for the calendar. She told him he was entering. He was surprised when he made the first cut for 25 semifinalists. Then the applicants' real work began: dieting, exercising and tanning, so they didn't look like corpses. The calendar hopefuls were up against some stiff competition for the final 14 spots.

"I didn't want to lose," he said, "and I'd never been to California" where the shoot was held.

The farm boy started working out two to three hours every other day to build muscle. Some of the competitors had to lose weight, but Barton needed to put some on. He gained about 10 pounds for the shoot.

"My friends and I go out and they tell all the girls 'Hey, he's Mr. March in the dead people calendar,"' he said.

The calendar debuted in 2007. It was started by Ken McKenzie, of Long Beach, Calif., who also appears in its pages. All proceeds from the calendar's sale go to KAMM Cares, a nonprofit foundation started by McKenzie in honor of his sister, a breast cancer survivor.

The foundation gives grants to women who need financial help for such necessities as child care or groceries during their treatment. McKenzie was awarded the Outstanding Funeral Director of California award this year in recognition of his charity work for the foundation and other causes.

Barton's grandmother also is a cancer survivor.

"I get a lot of ridicule out of this whole thing from my friends, but it's been worth it," Barton said. "Everybody has known somebody that has been touched by breast cancer, and this is for a good cause."

McKenzie also wanted to change the stereotype about funeral home directors.

"We're not all gray-haired with a hump on our backs," he said.

Barton has been the most popular of the models in the 2008 calendar, McKenzie said.

"I don't know about that," Barton said. "In California, it was a big whoop and holler because I'm a cowboy and was in my boots and jeans. They don't see that, but here in Oklahoma it's no big deal."

The Spanish daily “ABC” has revealed “terrible details” of police investigations into four clinics in Barcelona accused of practicing illegal abortions. According to the reports, investigators found “machines for crushing fetuses attached to drainpipes.”

The investigation into the clinics is ongoing, with six people arrested so far. Sources quoted by ABC said the machines were found at the Ginemedex Clinic and at another clinic in Barcelona. “These machines crush large fetuses and reduce them to a paste that is later presumably washed down the drain. Thus the ‘proof the crime’ was erased and the legal obligation to bring this ‘recognizable organic residue’ to an incinerator was avoided,” the report states.

Back during the days of Communist Russia, the nation was a dark and benighted place.

Now, however, if the Russians need light, at least they have cellphones.