Coffin Conversations - by dementia

Police in Edmonton, Alberta, said officers were training with a dog at a business late Tuesday when they heard an alarm sound from the building next door.

When they went to investigate, a car smashed through a garage door and zoomed past an officer and his dog, Wizzard, Edmonton police spokeswoman Karen Carlson said.

"He didn't get very far because he got stuck in a snow bank," Carlson said. The car turned out to be stolen.


The suspect tried to make a break for it on foot, but was quickly forced to give himself up when Wizzard caught up with him.

SPRING HILL, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida woman ticketed for reckless driving said she hit 19 mailboxes because she couldn't stop crying over the death of her cat that morning.

Tracy Chadwell said the cat, Monty, had helped her get through some difficult times in recent years. The only thing she could think to do was go to work, hoping that would take her mind off the loss, the St. Petersburg Times reported.

Chadwell said she didn't realize she had taken out so many mailboxes and thought it was just a garbage can stuck beneath her truck, the newspaper said.


Deputies say Chadwell passed a sobriety test, although she was taking medication for back and leg pain. She also had a suspended and expired Louisiana driver's license.

Chadwell said she never got a Florida driver's license because all of her paperwork was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina.

Two clowns were shot and killed by an unidentified gunman during their performance at a traveling circus in the eastern Colombian town of Cucuta, police said Wednesday.

The gunman burst into the Circo del Sol de Cali Monday night and shot the clowns in front of an audience of 20 to 50 people, local police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Reuters. One of the clowns was killed instantly and the second died the next day in hospital.

"The killings had nothing to do with the show the victims were performing at the time of the incident," Henao said in a telephone interview. "We are investigating the motive."

With an entrance fee of under 50 U.S. cents, Circo del Sol de Cali attracts mostly poor Colombians. It pitched it tents in Cucuta, near the border with Venezuela, earlier this month.

"The clowns came out to give their show and then this guy came out shooting them," one audience member told local television. "It was terrible."

A New Yorker claims he achieved a world record in Thailand on Thursday for doing the most squat-thrusts in one minute on the back of an elephant.

Ashrita Furman climbed onto the obliging elephant in Northern Thailand and powered through 40 squat thrusts.

This, he says, breaks the previous record set on firm, level ground of 30 in one minute.

The 52 year old from New York City undertook the challenge in the Thailand heat, on top of a forty-year-old female elephant named Kamee.

Furman is no stranger to laying claim to bizarre records.

By his own count, he currently holds 54, and has held 144 records overall including the fastest mile while balancing a pool cue on his finger.

The aristocratic owner of a gay dog aims to cash in on lucrative same-sex weddings by offering his pet pooch as best man at the ceremonies.

Sir Benjamin Slade, 51, is advertising his 13-year-old Labrador-Doberman cross Jasper – who inherited a £100,000 trust fund – for ceremonies at his 13th century manor in Somerset.

A man, who was drunk, let his 14-year-old son drive them both home - the kid was also drunk.

James Vernon Holbert Jr., of Virginia faces up to five years in prison when he is sentenced in May.

The hole is said to be more than 100m (330ft) deep. Residents said they had felt the earth shaking and heard loud noises before the houses collapsed.

President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia (Africa's smallest country) has long believed he had mystic powers, but he said a vision received on Jan. 18 makes it possible for him to personally cure AIDS and asthma, though only on certain days and for a limited number of people. The vision gave him recipes based on seven herbs mentioned in the Quran but authorized him to treat no more than 10 AIDS sufferers, on Thursdays and Mondays, and not more than 100 asthma patients, on Fridays and Saturdays. (Not surprisingly, the government self-reports success.) Jammeh's previous visions included making Gambia rich by exporting oil, but so far no deposits have been found.

A group of young German women used so much spray deodorant in the bathroom of a North Sea youth hostel that it set off a fire alarm and brought the local fire brigade rushing to the rescue, police said Monday.
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Let me just say that I just LOVE my satin walnut finish casket! What with one thing and another, you'd think that this would be the last casket I'd ever own, but you'd be wrong.

With monitor lizards, snakes, and bats prowling their parks, residents of tropical Singapore are no strangers to the occasional animal ambush.

A Walhalla man might have had a good reason for not responding to officers who surrounded his home: He was asleep in a recliner when the SWAT team found him after a four-hour standoff, authorities said.

“He did not know we were there until we put our hands on him,” Oconee County Sheriff’s Capt. Steve Jenkins said.

A man who was fired for visiting an adult chat room while at work at IBM is suing the company for $5 million. He says he deserves sympathy, not firing, since he is an Internet addict.

The man claims chat rooms relieve the post-traumatic stress he has suffered from since seeing his best friend killed in Vietnam in 1969.

A Chinese man was sentenced to death for scamming people out of 3 billion yuan ($387 million). The man created a fake business that supposedly made wine, tea and medical elixirs using black ants.

Ants are thought to be a natural remedy when steeped in tea or soaked in liquor.

A man described as a 'loner' was being questioned last night over a series of letter bomb attacks which have left nine people injured.

Miles Cooper, a 26-year-old school caretaker who does not drive, was arrested at his home near Cambridge early yesterday on suspicion of sending seven letter bombs in the past month, several to the offices of companies with links to traffic regulation enforcement.

"We want to show respect and dignity to the body of Ms. Smith," said Seidlin. "Beauty was important to her. She wants to look beautiful and we want to make sure that occurs."

Five Deer Park, N.Y. teens have been arrested since October for "fence plowing," the latest rage among certain Long Island youths, according to Suffolk County police. The concept is simple: Pick out a fence, run toward it at high speed, and launch yourself like a missile to plow through the wood.

Another 10 fence plowing incidents are still under investigation in the Deer Park area, police said. The arrests were made after the suspects were caught on a surveillance camera installed by a home owner whose fence was plowed five times, police said.

A New Zealand lawyer who took to wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume in court to highlight an alleged cover-up by the army has been found guilty of contempt.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A media exhibit featuring a campaign for a fake drug to treat a fictitious illness is causing a stir because some people think the illness is real.
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MOUNTLAKE TERRACE, Wash. - The owner of a coffee stand north of Seattle is offering free coffee for a year to anyone who helps catch a robber.

Troy Malchow hopes the offer will create a buzz that finds the man who pointed a gun at him Wednesday at Perfetto Espresso.

A male lynx has surprised animal keepers in Zhengzhou Zoo by refusing to mate with a female lynx.

Instead, the lynx has been seen attracting the attention of a leopard in the next-door pen. The male lynx is frequently seen petting and playing with the leopard even though they are separated by a fence, and whenever the female lynx approaches he drives it away.

AN ADELAIDE printing company is rushing to print and distribute new copies of suicide handbook The Peaceful Pill, in case it is banned.
A decision from the Classification Review Board is imminent, following a referral from Federal Attorney-General Philip Ruddock on the basis that the book is already a banned import.

i like 2 take bathes with my german shepard