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Coffin Conversations - by dementia

 
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Coffin Conversations - February 2007

A stupid thief tried to rob a building but failed because of poorly made decisions. For instance, the building is located next to a police dog training school.

Police in Edmonton, Alberta, said officers were training with a dog at a business late Tuesday when they heard an alarm sound from the building next door.

When they went to investigate, a car smashed through a garage door and zoomed past an officer and his dog, Wizzard, Edmonton police spokeswoman Karen Carlson said.

"He didn't get very far because he got stuck in a snow bank," Carlson said. The car turned out to be stolen.


The suspect tried to make a break for it on foot, but was quickly forced to give himself up when Wizzard caught up with him.

Idiot. He got pwned. lulz

via Yahoo News
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SPRING HILL, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida woman ticketed for reckless driving said she hit 19 mailboxes because she couldn't stop crying over the death of her cat that morning.

Tracy Chadwell said the cat, Monty, had helped her get through some difficult times in recent years. The only thing she could think to do was go to work, hoping that would take her mind off the loss, the St. Petersburg Times reported.

Chadwell said she didn't realize she had taken out so many mailboxes and thought it was just a garbage can stuck beneath her truck, the newspaper said.


Deputies say Chadwell passed a sobriety test, although she was taking medication for back and leg pain. She also had a suspended and expired Louisiana driver's license.

Chadwell said she never got a Florida driver's license because all of her paperwork was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina.

I could do worse if one of my cats died. Anyway, I don't know the source of this news since it was only forwarded to my email.
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Two Clowns Shot Dead In A Circus

February 25th 2007 17:31
Two clowns were shot and killed by an unidentified gunman during their performance at a traveling circus in the eastern Colombian town of Cucuta, police said Wednesday.

The gunman burst into the Circo del Sol de Cali Monday night and shot the clowns in front of an audience of 20 to 50 people, local police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Reuters. One of the clowns was killed instantly and the second died the next day in hospital.

"The killings had nothing to do with the show the victims were performing at the time of the incident," Henao said in a telephone interview. "We are investigating the motive."

With an entrance fee of under 50 U.S. cents, Circo del Sol de Cali attracts mostly poor Colombians. It pitched it tents in Cucuta, near the border with Venezuela, earlier this month.

"The clowns came out to give their show and then this guy came out shooting them," one audience member told local television. "It was terrible."

Maybe they were unfunny?

via Reuters
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A New Yorker claims he achieved a world record in Thailand on Thursday for doing the most squat-thrusts in one minute on the back of an elephant.

Ashrita Furman climbed onto the obliging elephant in Northern Thailand and powered through 40 squat thrusts.

This, he says, breaks the previous record set on firm, level ground of 30 in one minute.

The 52 year old from New York City undertook the challenge in the Thailand heat, on top of a forty-year-old female elephant named Kamee.

Furman is no stranger to laying claim to bizarre records.

By his own count, he currently holds 54, and has held 144 records overall including the fastest mile while balancing a pool cue on his finger.

WTF?! The man has too much time on his hands.

via KWTX
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Gay Dog As Best Man

February 24th 2007 20:45
The aristocratic owner of a gay dog aims to cash in on lucrative same-sex weddings by offering his pet pooch as best man at the ceremonies.

Sir Benjamin Slade, 51, is advertising his 13-year-old Labrador-Doberman cross Jasper – who inherited a £100,000 trust fund – for ceremonies at his 13th century manor in Somerset.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Man Demonstrates Great Parenting Skills

February 24th 2007 20:42
A man, who was drunk, let his 14-year-old son drive them both home - the kid was also drunk.

James Vernon Holbert Jr., of Virginia faces up to five years in prison when he is sentenced in May.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Guatemala's Newest Tourist Attraction

February 24th 2007 20:39
A gaping hole 100m deep suddenly appeared in Guatemala City. It swallowed several houses, a truck, and some people. According to BBC News

The hole is said to be more than 100m (330ft) deep. Residents said they had felt the earth shaking and heard loud noises before the houses collapsed.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Sex Sells Even In Death

February 22nd 2007 07:13
MATURE CONTENT
   


If you aren't happy with your religion, you might want to visit Miami and look for Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (aka Daddy). He is a minister who has a 666 tattooed on his arm. He also claims he is God. He heads the church of "Creciendo en Gracia" in Miami and his hundreds (or thousands as he claims) will do anything for him. "Daddy" wants to make things fun for his congregation. Some of the activities he organized were the following:

- Disrupting church services in Miami and Latin America, and smashing crosses and statues of Jesus


[ Click here to read more ]
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If you aren't happy with your religion, you might want to visit Miami and look for Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (aka Daddy). He is a minister who has a 666 tattooed on his arm. He also claims he is God. He heads the church of "Creciendo en Gracia" in Miami and his hundreds (or thousands as he claims) will do anything for him. "Daddy" wants to make things fun for his congregation. Some of the activities he organized were the following:

- Disrupting church services in Miami and Latin America, and smashing crosses and statues of Jesus


[ Click here to read more ]
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President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia (Africa's smallest country) has long believed he had mystic powers, but he said a vision received on Jan. 18 makes it possible for him to personally cure AIDS and asthma, though only on certain days and for a limited number of people. The vision gave him recipes based on seven herbs mentioned in the Quran but authorized him to treat no more than 10 AIDS sufferers, on Thursdays and Mondays, and not more than 100 asthma patients, on Fridays and Saturdays. (Not surprisingly, the government self-reports success.) Jammeh's previous visions included making Gambia rich by exporting oil, but so far no deposits have been found.

Methinks the President has been smoking something illegal


[ Click here to read more ]
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Modern Houses of Horrors

February 21st 2007 18:37
This Old House has a slideshow of horrendous house repair neglects and self-repairs gone bad.

This is a roof. I'm not kidding!

[ Click here to read more ]
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Breat Milk Is Still Best For Vegans

February 21st 2007 09:41
A group of vegans are offering free lodging for any woman who could provide them with free breast milk because they read about its nutritional benefits. Uhh gross! The ad which was posted on craigslist stated that the group doesn't care about the appearance and the sexual preference of the living milk bar. It also warned that only the room is free, food not included.

via Boing Boing
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A group of young German women used so much spray deodorant in the bathroom of a North Sea youth hostel that it set off a fire alarm and brought the local fire brigade rushing to the rescue, police said Monday.
ADVERTISEMENT

[ Click here to read more ]
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Amazon Now Selling Caskets

February 21st 2007 03:07
It's very convenient
Did you know that you can buy a casket from amazon.com? I wasn't aware of that until I read this blog entry by Lawgeek. What's more interesting are the reviews.

Let me just say that I just LOVE my satin walnut finish casket! What with one thing and another, you'd think that this would be the last casket I'd ever own, but you'd be wrong.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Fetish Restaurants in Japan

February 20th 2007 14:28
May I take your order, prease?
Fetish restaurants are starting to sprout in Japan, particularly in Shibuya District. The latest is Shomuni, a restaurant-bar patterned after a manga and a tv series about office ladies (I've seen the series and I loved it!). Customers, often geeks who get off on submissive girls, can request the "office ladies" to strip tease, change into cosplay costumes, feed them, or serve in their underwear for a small fee. The trend is becoming controversial because it's sexual and, some opine, it's demeaning to women. Personally, I love the idea. I especially love the gothic lolita restaurants there. Any excuse to prance around in a costume is good methinks. Feminists all over just gave me a unified frown.

via Wired News
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Monkeys Pillage Singapore

February 20th 2007 09:49
According to this news report, monkeys have been wreaking havoc in Singapore's residential areas.

With monitor lizards, snakes, and bats prowling their parks, residents of tropical Singapore are no strangers to the occasional animal ambush.

[ Click here to read more ]
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A Walhalla man might have had a good reason for not responding to officers who surrounded his home: He was asleep in a recliner when the SWAT team found him after a four-hour standoff, authorities said.

“He did not know we were there until we put our hands on him,” Oconee County Sheriff’s Capt. Steve Jenkins said.

[ Click here to read more ]
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A man who was fired for visiting an adult chat room while at work at IBM is suing the company for $5 million. He says he deserves sympathy, not firing, since he is an Internet addict.

The man claims chat rooms relieve the post-traumatic stress he has suffered from since seeing his best friend killed in Vietnam in 1969.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Man Sentenced To Death Over Ants

February 20th 2007 06:19
A Chinese man was sentenced to death for scamming people out of 3 billion yuan ($387 million). The man created a fake business that supposedly made wine, tea and medical elixirs using black ants.

Ants are thought to be a natural remedy when steeped in tea or soaked in liquor.

[ Click here to read more ]
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A man described as a 'loner' was being questioned last night over a series of letter bomb attacks which have left nine people injured.

Miles Cooper, a 26-year-old school caretaker who does not drive, was arrested at his home near Cambridge early yesterday on suspicion of sending seven letter bombs in the past month, several to the offices of companies with links to traffic regulation enforcement.

[ Click here to read more ]
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You might have read about it already but it appears that Anna Nicole Smith planned her burial attire.

"We want to show respect and dignity to the body of Ms. Smith," said Seidlin. "Beauty was important to her. She wants to look beautiful and we want to make sure that occurs."

[ Click here to read more ]
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Mummified Corpse Loves His TV

February 19th 2007 17:45
A burst water pipe lead to the discovery of a mummified corpse who was still watching TV. The corpse has been dead for more than a year. More surprising, imho, is that the TV still works. I wonder what he was watching when he died. Probably The OC and he died from boredom.

via SMH
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Fence Plowing, The New Teen Craze

February 17th 2007 15:36
Five Deer Park, N.Y. teens have been arrested since October for "fence plowing," the latest rage among certain Long Island youths, according to Suffolk County police. The concept is simple: Pick out a fence, run toward it at high speed, and launch yourself like a missile to plow through the wood.

Another 10 fence plowing incidents are still under investigation in the Deer Park area, police said. The arrests were made after the suspects were caught on a surveillance camera installed by a home owner whose fence was plowed five times, police said.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Lawyer Wants to Dress Up As Alice

February 17th 2007 14:50
Maybe gothic lolitas or cosplayers would appreciate this.

A New Zealand lawyer who took to wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume in court to highlight an alleged cover-up by the army has been found guilty of contempt.

[ Click here to read more ]
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NEW YORK (Reuters) - A media exhibit featuring a campaign for a fake drug to treat a fictitious illness is causing a stir because some people think the illness is real.
ADVERTISEMENT

[ Click here to read more ]
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Reward For Robbery Info, A Cup Of Coffee

February 17th 2007 13:58
MOUNTLAKE TERRACE, Wash. - The owner of a coffee stand north of Seattle is offering free coffee for a year to anyone who helps catch a robber.

Troy Malchow hopes the offer will create a buzz that finds the man who pointed a gun at him Wednesday at Perfetto Espresso.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Lynx Falls In Love With A Leopard

February 16th 2007 16:12
A male lynx has surprised animal keepers in Zhengzhou Zoo by refusing to mate with a female lynx.

Instead, the lynx has been seen attracting the attention of a leopard in the next-door pen. The male lynx is frequently seen petting and playing with the leopard even though they are separated by a fence, and whenever the female lynx approaches he drives it away.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Suicide Handbook

February 16th 2007 15:48
AN ADELAIDE printing company is rushing to print and distribute new copies of suicide handbook The Peaceful Pill, in case it is banned.
A decision from the Classification Review Board is imminent, following a referral from Federal Attorney-General Philip Ruddock on the basis that the book is already a banned import.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Revolutionary Men's Underwear

February 15th 2007 08:41
I was watching Good Morning America earlier and they did a short feature on men's underwear. I remember one of the underwear which is the equivalent of the women's Wonderbra because it gives a lift to the penis. I forgot who the maker is though.

Well, I was looking around stumbleupon and erm...stumbled upon a great post on men's underwear. Here are my favorites


[ Click here to read more ]
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Share Your Secrets

February 15th 2007 07:21
For those of you bored of surfing the usual sites, you might want to visit this. Myprivatesecret.com lets you post your dirty laundry anonymously. Well, at least I hope it's anonymous. I lulzed at some of the posts there. Here are a few.

i like 2 take bathes with my german shepard

[ Click here to read more ]